If you are one of the 50 Million single people in the U.S. chances are you have tried online dating.  It has become a billion dollar industry with countless websites – free, subscription, race based, age based, faith based, hair and teeth based !

Online dating IS a good thing, but it is not for everyone.  There are many people that work in jobs that are not conducive to social interactions.  There are also people that are just too busy to attend social events.  There are people that just don’t have any places to go to meet like minded people, especially the older folks.  Some people just want to meet people that do not live in their neighborhood, which is often a good idea.

We’ve gotten together and discussed some of the Dos and Don’ts regarding online dating.  We are going to share some of them with you in an effort to make your online dating experience more enjoyable and perhaps give you chuckle.  Since most people sign up in the privacy of their own home and are horrified to tell any of their friends, they don’t get any instructions or guidelines on how it all works, they just dive in. This is typically good strategy in real life, but in the online world it’s a little different.

  • Choose Your Battleground – Without a doubt you need to pick a site that charges you!  If you are serious about your endeavor, do you really want to pick from the people that cannot afford or are too cheap to pay $25/month?  Don’t fly coach on this one, you get what you pay for, just like in real life.  Don’t be one of those people that always complains about the cover charge, and as a result never does anything.
  •  It’s Not Your Memoir – When you set up your profile, don’t write a novel for several reasons.  It’s not Facebook, you can’t restrict viewing to ONLY your friends.  You are opening up yourself to the whole weird wide world, and they only need to know a snippet of who you are.  Leave them wanting more, just like in real life.  Do not lie however, it will come back to bite you in the ass when you do meet someone compatible, again, just like real life.
  • No Airbrushes – Do not trust any profiles that only have professional photos posted.  You need to see these people in their natural habitat.  If they only have professionally done photos and no regular photos, there is a reason.  Similarly, if there is no full body photo, there is probably a reason.  Trust your instincts grasshopper.
  • Long Profiles – Can mean long winded.  These can be a dead giveaway that the person is a chatter box or insecure, or both.  Use caution.  Talking on phone can flush this out.
  • Phone Screen – You must talk on the phone first.  It’s the last chance you have to flush out any weirdness or personality traits that are your own personal deal breakers.
  • Baby Steps – You must be brief in your initial message, but be polite and UNIQUE in your approach.  These gals are getting lit up by every knucklehead in town.  Being polite will most likely also be unique, which is sad, but again, just like in real life, being a gentleman still works.
  • Write and Wrong – If the person whom you are exchanging messages with is being odd, or slightly rude or just plain stupid, then STOP.  Think about it, if the person can’t communicate properly in the comfort of their own home, at their own speed, with the luxury of deletion, then how do you think they will act in person?
  • Meet, Greet & Do Not Eat – Schedule your first meeting somewhere easy where you wont have to wait for a table and keep it brief.  Hotel bars are good, but coffee shops and breakfast places are also good.  You can meet quickly for coffee in morning, then you both have the built in excuse of having to start your day.

Lastly, online dating is weird, so embrace it.  Don’t act like you are anything more than the complete stranger that you are.  Your first meeting should feel more like a business meeting than a date.  Don’t pretend it’s a date, it is an interview and you should behave like you are in an interview.  One woman we spoke with told us she considers it to be just another social channel, not the end solution.  It’s like your monthly dinner party, or golf league or Taco Tuesday, just another way to get your ass out of the house to meet people.  Probably sound advice.

In the words of the immortal news anchor, “Keep It Classy San Diego”.

Thanks for Reading !

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