“then comb your hair, pull out your pocket knife and put on your condom…”

An interesting discussion developed on a trip to San Francisco this past weekend when a good friend mentioned that his father always said that a good man will always carry these three items –  a 6 ” black comb, a Zippo lighter and a handkerchief.  These items are obviously a sign of how times have changed.  A debate immediately followed about what The Rugged Male, or gentleman or just cool ass dude should carry in today’s world.  An interesting and thought provoking discussion for a Saturday night.  It became difficult to come up with three items in today’s world where a smart phone can pretty much get you out of any jam.

But lets start there by analyzing the three items mentioned above:

  • Black Comb – I don’t know many guys that carry a comb.  I would ascertain it’s because of new hair styles and hair products.  Many men are rockin’ short hair that dont require a comb.  If they have longer hair then they either use products to keep it in place or they are the type that really don’t give a shit about their hair.  I would also ascertain that many women (now) enjoy the messy hair guy (of which I am a charter member).  Back in The Fifties this was not the case.  In any event, back-in-the-day, men carried a comb to look good.
  • Zippo – Men of yesteryear carried a Zippo lighter as most men (and women) smoked.  After all, before Big Tobacco was put on the stand in 1994, smoking was not addictive, nor did it cause cancer.  Men carried Zippos to light their own cigarettes but also to provide a service to others looking for a light.  So we can say this was an item to support a vice.
  • Handkerchief – Hankies were carried to triage a man’s sniffles, or to lend to an emotional lady at a funeral or a wedding, or a theater.  The growing popularity of Kleenex and our revelation of germs has just about wiped out The Hanky, with good reason in our opinion, despite what others are saying.  Handkerchiefs ARE disgusting, and people are NOT interested in carrying around their germs, NOR are people interested in wiping your germ cloth on their face – sorry, modern man is right on this one.  But, I guess we can say men did this for personal hygiene.

So in the end we have three items, one to look good, one for personal hygiene and one to support a vice.  Now if we modernized these items we would end up with Crest White Strips, to look good, breath mints for personal hygiene and … (drum roll), to support America’s biggest vice we would carry … a fork! (or a cocaine straw, depending on whose diet you were on, Rachael Ray or Kate Moss)

Seriously, there is a lot of discussion about this topic.  We took a look at what some of the other blogs claiming to be rugged, wrote about this topic.  Some of the responses were interesting.

  • A Condom – Really?  Because you are always finding yourself in a jam in the Starbucks bathroom when you stop for your morning coffee?  Keep it in your pants tiger, America is 24/7, especially when it comes to vice.  You can find a condom when you need one.
  • Cash – This is not part of the group because it’s a necessity, like wearing shoes.  If you don’t know this already then you must have just come over from Askmen.com, where they tell you to propose to your girl on valentines day and have a board of directors instead of a wolfpack of some cool ass dudes.  Ballers carry cash.  Be a baller.  Cash gets you out of jams, quickly.
  • Pocket Knife – Not bad .. but every day carry?  I think the Crips have guns now.
  • USB Drive – Really?  Look no further for the reason you are still single.
In order to recommend three things The Rugged Male should carry at all times, we need to have some guidelines.  First, we eliminate cash, credit cards, phone & keys, for obvious reasons.  Next we need to update the categories.  We need to eliminate Hygiene.  Everyone is such a hypochondriac these days and so embarrassed to ever show any sign of being a human it’s just not needed any more.  What has changed is the world we live in.  No longer do we leave our homes or cars unlocked or list our number in the phone book.  This makes it difficult when we get into a jam.  So the new categories should be, Look Good, Support A Vice and Oh Shit!  To that there are many good choices for the modern man.  After much debate, we will offer these:
  • Look Good – Your hair should look good before you leave the house, so carry breath mints or gum for those closing moments, (more on that later, stay tuned).  It’s true you only get one shot to make a first impression and gnarly breath will ruin it forever – dealbreaker!  We know this is true because we have the same rule for women regarding breath … and cankles.
  • Support A Vice – Lets face it, today’s vice is sex.  Whether you are engaging in it, looking for it or watching it, sex drives a large portion of our thought processes and behavior, for better or for worse.  To support this vice, carry a business card.  It’s classier and less invasive to women.  It’s also smoother and less clunky than putting digits into that pacifier you call a phone.  A business card also gives the person a little more info about you, which makes you look confident.
  • Oh Shit!  – Often times your phone has gone dead, or you simply lost it.  How many of you can even remember your parents or girlfriend’s number?  Carry a piece of paper in your wallet that has your emergency numbers on it – neighbor, best friend, girlfriend, ex-girlfriend & closest relative.  This will also help you when you lose your wallet by providing a road map to who finds it.

There you have it.  If these things are not helping you lead a prosperous and rugged lifestyle, then comb your hair, pull out your pocket knife and put on your condom – that outta spice things up at your local watering hole!

Please share YOUR comments below, (you can use a fake email if you must)

Thanks For Reading !


You Might Also Like