This article comes from our friends at Hot Ass Kitchen, your kitchen wingman!

Somewhere in between standing upright and inventing the wheel, man discovered fire. Over the centuries and millennia that followed, man harnessed that fire to forge metal into weapons of war, burned fossil fuels for electricity, and smoked various herbs for (errr) medicinal purposes. Most importantly however, man used fire to cook meat.  If you are ready to carry on the torch passed down from our prehistoric predecessors, take a read through our Ten Commandments Of Grilling.

10. Thou shalt know how to flavor thy meat

While some meats require nothing more than salt and pepper, many others benefit greatly from the application of other flavors in the form of marinades, rubs, or a glazes. Before you go tossing whatever the hell is in your fridge or pantry on your meat, let us walk you through the basics so you know when, how, and for what meats each type should be applied.

Marination = penetration.
Since most marinades include an acidic component as well as some form of salt, the molecular bonds in the outer layers of your meat’s protein are altered, opening up little pockets that all of the other flavors of your marinade are able to crawl inside and chill out in.  The density of your meat also affects how long you should let your marinate ruminate.

Most glazes are some combination of sweet and spicy. Due to their sugar content, the best time to apply a glaze is near the end of grilling, which allows the sauce to thicken on your meat’s surface without burning. A glaze can be great on almost any type of grilled food, but we particularly love it on pork (more specifically ribs or tenderloin).

Similar to a glaze, a wet or dry rub is not expected to penetrate the surface of your meat, instead providing a blast of flavor to your food’s exterior. Unlike a glaze though, rubs are applied prior to cooking, typically around 30 minutes prior to cooking to let some of those flavors mix and mingle with your meat’s surface.

9. Thou shalt prepare thyself

“Mise en place” is a phrase commonly used by professional chefs that essentially means “put your shit in its place.” By having all of your ingredients, tools, and other grilling aids (read: beer) in place before you throw your meat on the fire, you’ll be much better prepared to deal with anything the grilling gods throw your way. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen an amateur griller getting distracted in the kitchen while his grill scorches his dinner. Don’t be that guy.


8. Thou shalt soak thy skewers

Kabobs are the shit. They make grilling a bunch of smaller items a breeze, particularly veggies. But if you opt to use wooden skewers (and not metal) as your kabob stabbers of choice, be sure to soak them in warm water for at least 10 minutes, but preferably 30. This will prevent the wood from burning during the grilling process.

7. Thou shalt start with a clean grate

If you think the burnt morsels of food on your grill grates from previous cooks adds flavor, you sir, are a fucking fool. Clean your damn grates before you grill. You can do this after leaving high heat on an empty grill at the end of each session or at the beginning, just make sure it gets done.

6. Thou shalt be safe

This falls into that general grilling rule of “don’t be a dumbass.” Stay safe by following the general guidelines:

  • Keep your grill away from your house.
  • Keep your grill on level ground and if you’ve got wheels, lock ’em.
  • Mind your connections: If grilling with gas, remember to always turn it off after cooking and be mindful of leaks.
  • Trim your fat: On really fatty cuts of meat, do your best to trim excess fat prior to cooking.
  • Time is your enemy: The longer meat sits at room temperature, the longer nasty micro-organisms have to infect it.
  • Keep em separated: Don’t use the same plates or utensils for cooked meat that you used with raw meat

5. Thy grill is the only one that shall be “lit”

Drinking a beer while manning the grill is not only your right, it’s your damn responsibility as a man. But don’t get totally blitzed before you start grilling. Save the heavy drinking for after you’ve got a solid base of grilled grub in your gut.

4. Thou shalt abide by by “first on, first off”

Use a system when cooking with large numbers. When we are manning the grill for a big backyard party, we put our first piece of meat in between 3 and 6 o’clock and start working clockwise from there. So long as you remember which one you put on first, you can work around the clock flipping or removing all of the others.

3. Thou shalt trust thy Thermometer

Some grillmen swear by the “touch test” for gauging doneness. Others just slice into their meat for a quick peak. Don’t be those guys. Just use your digital meat thermometer to cook your meat to the perfect temperature every time. It’s science guys.

2. Thou shalt rest thy meat

Although many men find themselves rushed for time when cooking and try to get their food from the fire to the fork as quickly as possible, it is imperative that you let your meat, especially large thick cuts of it, rest after cooking. This provides some time for the juices that retreated to the center of your meat during the grilling process to redistribute themselves throughout, making every bite more tender and delicious.

1. Thou shalt master the heat for damn good meat

Master Heat For Good Grilled Meat

If you truly want to become a master grillman, you must first learn to tame fire. Many men make the fatal mistake of believing a grill needs to be hotter than it does. In reality, those 500+ degree heats are only good for cooking smaller and thinner foods that can face the fire for shorter periods of time without burning. But what about when you want to cook a nice rack of ribs, a whole chicken, or a big ass roast? Knowing how to control a fire for the type of meat is where a man can really show his skill on the grill.

No grill thermometer? No problem

You can instead rely on the hand test. Hold your hand about 5 inches above your cooking grate and hold it there as long as you can. High heat (400+) is anything less than 3 seconds.

There are your 10 Commandments For Grilling Like A Man

Thanks For Reading !

This article comes from our friends at Hot Ass Kitchen – A Guys Guide To Good Eating. Give em some love!

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